Surrogacy Awareness Week 2024

With a renewed sense of determination, she decided to pursue IVF independently.

The path to motherhood, however, was not without its hurdles. Gwenda’s eggs were essentially ‘trapped’ in another country due to complex regulations. It took nearly two years of navigating legal obstacles before her eggs could be transported to the UK.

Despite undergoing multiple rounds of IVF, each attempt ended in disappointment. After her last unsuccessful attempt, both her clinic and her mother suggested surrogacy.

Though Gwenda yearned to carry her own child, she had to face the difficult reality: her best chance at motherhood was through surrogacy. Despite the initial shock, she recognised that her two remaining embryos stood the best chance through this route.

Making the decision to pursue surrogacy was a complex and emotional process. The grief of her lost pregnancy was still raw, and the prospect of depending entirely on another family felt overwhelming. However, the survival of her two embryos, her last chance at creating her family, was the driving force behind her decision.

Gwenda has found comfort and reassurance in surrogacy meet-ups. She was able to ask questions, share her concerns, and hear the experiences of others. Listening to the stories of surrogates and intended parents made the idea of surrogacy feel less daunting and more normal. She was touched by the kindness of women willing to help people like her start a family.

As she waits to find a surrogate, Gwenda understandably feels apprehensive. The fear that it may be too late sometimes looms over her, but she’s learned to focus on what she can control. She takes small steps each day, supports others in the community, makes new friends, and continues to learn about the process, all of which help her navigate the emotional roller coaster.

Gwenda has been fortunate to have a supportive circle of friends and family. Her mother was instrumental in steering her towards surrogacy, and her close friends have been an incredible pillar of support. She’s been cautious about sharing her decision widely, choosing to confide in a close-knit circle.

When it comes to choosing a surrogate, Gwenda hopes there is a natural connection from the outset for the both. She imagines this connection stemming from shared values and interests, and an ease of conversation. For Gwenda, it’s about finding a kind-hearted soul and family.

Throughout this journey, Gwenda has been inspired by the unique nature of each surrogacy story, especially the relationships that evolve post-birth. In terms of support, her parents and close friends have been unwavering.

Moreover, the surrogacy meet-ups have proven to be a source of comfort and reassurance. Her advice to others on a similar path is to start learning about surrogacy in parallel to any fertility treatments they may be undergoing. She wishes she had known earlier that the surrogacy journey could take years and encourages others to prepare themselves accordingly.

Looking ahead, Gwenda envisions her life after the baby arrives to be both fulfilling and challenging. As a single Intended Parent, she understands the importance of a good support network. She’s been proactive in planning for this, even during her IVF journey, and believes it’s crucial for her child to grow up within a supportive circle of friends.

Preparing for the emotional roller coaster of surrogacy requires both mental and physical wellness. Gwenda invests time in personal self therapy to gain perspective and heal from past hurts and fears, while also maintaining her physical health. She strongly believes that physical wellness contributes significantly to her overall happiness.

Grateful for the support she’s received so far and hopeful about the future, Gwenda’s journey has taught her that family is about love, and surrogacy is just another wonderful and unique way to create that family.