Surrogacy Awareness Week 2024

Freya’s Story

Whilst she had very limited information regarding her donor whilst growing up, Freya’s parents encouraged her curiosity about him and any potential half-siblings – they were disappointed that the only option available to them had been anonymous donation (as Freya was conceived prior to the law change in 2005, which gave donor conceived individuals the right to find out the identity of their donor when they turn 18). 

“My parents would mostly refer to him as ‘donor’ – occasionally if it was relevant they might say ‘biological father or parent’”, Freya remembers.  “It’s never made any difference to my relationship with my non-biological mum, even though there is no genetic or legal link.” 

Freya has a genetic full sibling, as her parents were asked if they wanted to try for a sibling before her donor reached the limit of permitted donations.  She has also since connected with seven of the 15 half-siblings in her sibling set, conceived via the same donor – six of these via the HFEA’s Donor Sibling Link (DSL) scheme, and another via a DNA match – and the group are now in regular contact.  Despite being conceived via anonymous donation, Freya was also able to locate her donor via DNA match around four years ago. 

“I did Ancestry and My Heritage years ago and got no results”, she shares.  “Then I matched with a second cousin –  his mum had put his DNA on the site and said she thought she knew who my donor was.” 

Freya’s donor undertook a DNA test himself which proved he was a biological parent, and they have since established a relationship and see each other once or twice a year.  Freya’s biological mum passed away before she got to know her donor and half-siblings, but her other mum has met some of Freya’s half-siblings and enjoys seeing photos of their meet-ups. 

“My parents were always so open, so when I started to find siblings and my donor I didn’t feel like I couldn’t share that with them – they were with me on that journey”, Freya recalls.  “I think some parents are nervous about letting someone else into their life, but my donor is no more important than my parents – it’s actually strengthened my relationship with my non-biological mum as she’s been so supportive”. 

When Freya and her wife embarked on their own journey to parenthood, they were keen that their two children should have more information about their donor and were pleased that they would have the right to know the donor’s identity in the future. 

“We were given quite detailed profiles to look at and were able to choose our donor, but it’s still anonymous in the sense that it’s open ID”, Freya explains.  “We always wanted our kids to be able to find their donor in the future, and we talk about him a lot.  Our eldest is four and she understands she was conceived by donor and how that worked – she knows she has her blue eyes from him.  All I knew about my donor was that he was ‘sporty’, but my kids have more information from his profile – they know he runs marathons and even what his personal bests are!” 

More recently, Freya made the decision to become a known egg donor herself. 

“I knew I wanted to donate eggs as I’ve been lucky with my own fertility and it’s something I could do for someone else”, she shares.  “I wanted it to be known donation as there’s already a lot of unknowns in my kids’ lives – they have various genetic aunts and uncles from my donor and half-siblings from theirs – it’s important to me that any half-siblings born via my donations, my children will know from birth.” 

Freya is currently in a team and hoping to start medication for her egg donation journey shortly.  You can find Freya on Instagram at @unicorndcp  and on Tiktok at @thequeermama