Being an IP is hard and the wait to find a surrogate can prove to be the one of the hardest parts.
Its not something that is taken lightly by surrogates, we know that the wait to meet the right surrogate can be long, and frustrating, and downright soul destroying. I have heard surrogates say “I wish I could help more than one person at a time” so many times over the years, and its a sentiment I have certainly felt myself.
I am regularly asked by IPs if there is anything they can do to speed up the process of meeting a surrogate and my advice remains the same – Be yourself, its not about meeting any surrogate, but meeting the right surrogate for you.
I often wonder if I could be giving more advice , so I asked other surrogates what advice they would give.
“Remember surros are just ‘normal’ people too! Get involved with the community, get to socials and try and have fun. If you’re going to be waiting, may as well try and enjoy it”
“Keep the faith it will happen when it’s right”
“Get to as many socials as you can, keep active on on the boards and just get out there and enjoy making friends. Those who put themselves out there are more likely to get noticed”
“Put yourself out there, no matter how shy you are or awkward you feel, be honest with how you are feeling. Surrogates can feel exactly the same”
“Never lose HOPE. Be yourself & have fun along the way!”
“Be yourself. We all know the desired end goal but it’s important to have a friendship first”
“Don’t give up… even if you have been waiting for a long time. Someone will fall in love with you and want to help you make a family! Every surro looks for different things in IPs… it will be worth the wait!”
It seemed that every surrogate gave similar advice – don’t give up, be yourself, meet people. There’s certainly no trick to finding a surrogate, no fast track, no IP more deserving. Surrogates too are on a journey to find the right IPs for them and by taking their advice it should help you to find each other.
As frustrating as it is, the wait for a surrogate might be long, it might be bumpy and at times it might feel hopeless but when you find the right surrogate for you, we hope that it will all be worth it.
A surrogate x